when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
