I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
