and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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