This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize