Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
