yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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