Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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