Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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