My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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