ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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