Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
