At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
