Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I looked at my own cervix.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
