sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
