Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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