FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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