I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We had sex on a dog bed..
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
