there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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