do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Randomize
