Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
