More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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