How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
