Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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