I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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