the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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