but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
