You just made me feel so damn special
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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