i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
