All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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