Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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