Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
