I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
your like the ambassador to my penis.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
