Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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