You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
