My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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