I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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