Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We are two peas in an std pod
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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