soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
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I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
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My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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