I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
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He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
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Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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