I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
