3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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