no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
