At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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