does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There r osticjed everywhere
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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