It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
