careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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