oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
