i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I love having hate sex.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
