So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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