i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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