I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
