It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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