i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I love having hate sex.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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