This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
