you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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