Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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