So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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