I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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