Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Randomize
