She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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